Monday, December 08, 2008
%&%#&*^%*)*@!%^

$%^#$^$#^@&&$^*#$%!~!^@$*

@^$%@$%@#$$@%#@$*#%$$%$@&$&

Those are not strings of profanity. They're a collection of frustrated thoughts and emotions with no proper way to put it.

I am Mandy, hear me roar.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

1. What makes you all warm and fuzzy inside?
When I know that someone is thinking of me.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
My boyfriend will inevitably become my best friend as well, and I cherish both.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
Alot less often.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Sometimes, although people perceive me to have more confidence than I actually have.

5. How many babies do you want?
Two, maybe. Although I'm not looking forward to the process :P

6. Favorite perfume/fragrance?
Polo Blue for men, Emerald Dream by Estee Lauder for women.

7. What is your goal for this year?
Live life to the full, and if I leave, it'll be with no regrets.

8. Do you believe in eternal love?
Yes, I think.

9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u? (List 10)
Sensitive, caring, thoughtful, polite, loves God, witty, ambitious, passionate, romantic, and most importantly strong(inside).

10.What feeling do you love most?
The feeling of being "collected". Read Shopaholic Ties The Knot, and you'll understand the meaning.

11. What is your bad habit?
Procrastination omg!!

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hate you?
I know who I am inside, and so do the people who love me.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yes.

14. What does flying mean to you?
It means being on a permanent high of happiness.

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
I crave for the exams to be over so I can let go of all this stress and spend time with my favourite people.

16. What features/quirks do you find totally sexy on a guy/girl?
Hmmm... their sureness and assertiveness of what they want, just not over the top.

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
My oldest buddy that I'll cherish forever. (Alia)


18.What have you done to yourself to make yourself happy?
Let go.

19. What will u become in another 10 years to come?
Somebody.

20. Do you reread text messages that woo-ed/affect you?
Yes I do!

Instructions

Remove one question from above and add in your personal question.

Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.
List them out at the end of the post.

Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

I tag whoever who wants to do this... although I'm pretty sure I've done a similar quiz before but with different questions ahaha.

Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm in a lecture.
Was watching a short Charlie Chaplin film.
Another video now, everyone else around me is snoozing.
Read and re-read your mail.

You make me smile all the time. :)

<3

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I have officially used up completely my YSL Touche Eclat! It was a gift from my best friend, Christina for my birthday last year and it took me officially 10 months to finish, considering the measly amount that is actually stored in this golden tube, it lasted pretty long :)

My take on it is that it's good, but not worth the price. And it really really works in photos... like I have this scar on my face that simply won't go away, it came from a recurring pimple (disaster of all disasters) and only the heavy duty concealers like Shu Uemura and Mac, you know the ones that are solid and come in lil compacts, not the liquid ones with the brush, can cover it. One day, my mom tried my MAC select moisturecover and liked it so much I gave it to her. Realizing I had nothing to cover my scar with, I turned back to my YSL. In the photos that I took later in the evening, NO SCAR! :D:D:D but I think in person you could still see it.

So, my conclusion is that touche eclat doesn't work miracles in real life, only in photographs. Especially when there's flash. Haha... :) So cam whores may consider getting it. Okay, running off to school now. Thanks for reading my random product review. Lol.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The story goes on without you
And there's got to be another ending
But yeah you broke my heart, it won't be the last time
But I'll get over them too
As a new door opens we close the ones behind
And if you search your soul I know you'll find
You never really knew me

Did you really think love is blind?
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

They'd been through the motions, many times before.
Exactly the same as always.
Constant.
She stares at the face, wondering how it came to this.
Thinking that she's dug herself in too deep, how could one be without after knowing of?

Blinds drawn, with the slivers of evening light streaming through.
Crumpled sheets.
Comfort.
Flashes through her mind, how far things have come.
We can never, never go back.

She stares at the face, it hurts to look sometimes.
Shifts, turns on her back.
Clarity.
Love is a drug, sometimes it becomes habitual.
How can we be without?

She pictures the face, it hurts not to see it.
Shifts again, she is so sure that it's the same.
Calamity.
Love is a drug, that's exactly what it does.
That is all it will ever, ever be.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Just a big big post to show appreciation for these wonderful people in my life. I would not have gotten so far without you guys supporting me all the way, and showering me with your love and concern. Thanks for shaking me when I needed it, and holding me when I was shaking. I love you so much and I want you to know it.





God, I feel so emo now. Sheesh. There's a special reason why these people are up here, it doesn't mean I care any less about the rest of my inner circle. Okay?

Uni life has started off well for me, I'm really enjoying it (yes, even the studying). I just feel blessed now that I can face the world again, and I'm happier than I've ever been. Hence the big thank you to all the people above.

The most important thing for me right now is to thank our mighty Lord and Saviour, who really HAS saved me from the pit of despair and restored me to more than I ever was before. I know He is real and nobody can ever dispute that for me, never.

I love You, more than life itself.

Friday, September 26, 2008

You chose to surrender the best thing that's happened to you
What were you missing?
Were you just tripping?

Running away from your fear was the best you could do
You made this decision
You chose our division

And I have no regrets
I wish you the very best
In all that you do

You did this to you
Yeah, you did

Congratulations
Now you are free
You have earned your degree
Yeah, you graduated
This is your last separation from me
There'll be no more trying again
No more coming back
No more forgiving you
No more thinking that somehow the sum will be different
By using Division.

:)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A very good friend of mine said:

for those who had their hearts broken,
shed no more tears my sister. u deserve a better person.
and you will lead a better life than before.
you will find someone who will love you and be faithful to you.
someone who will be there to catch your tears. hold you when you need comfort.
be there when no one else will.

and one day, when you become an accomplished dynamic young woman
you will realise that...

the ultimate best thing that he had ever done for you... was to let you go.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

If I could just close my eyes
I'd blackout all the reasons why
We're still in this place
What you want is what you got
You should have tried to make it stop

You took my innocence away and never had a chance to
You broke me in with your mistakes and thanks for the break through
But you won't bring me down
I always come around
You took my innoncence away,
... but the best of me stayed.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sorry for not blogging since.. I was in KL. But let me explain my situation, I have NO PC, and therefore NO MSN, and NO PHOTO UPLOADING FACILITIES and NO EASY ACCESS TO A PROPER WORKING LAPTOP, hence no blog posts and the Amanda which you used to see 24 7 online is MIA.

My screwed up Dell has been giving me the stupid Blue Screen Of Death (yeah, its a term, BSOD) even before I came here for good, so totally can't be used until I reformat it again, even then, no guarantees. My laptop, which is a yummy pearl white Toshiba M-800, will only be coming in a week or so, because I opted to pay for it in installments using this interest free loan scheme. It's troublesome, I have to do so many things to get it processed etc, but it's worth it because if I have trouble paying for it now, I can just pay after I graduate. Singapore really takes care of their students! My new phone cost me 48 dollars with the renewal of my phone line, and when I mentioned that I saw this Crumpler phone pouch for 22 bucks, my family was like "What!? The phone pouch costs half as much as your phone? No way!" hahaha.. so nope. Not getting it, never liked the brand anyway. As the saying goes,

Throw a stone anywhere in Singapore and hit somebody with a Crumpler bag.

This saying used to be for JJ actually, but I think it applies island-wide.

I read Breaking Dawn, and it was severely severely excruciatingly disappointing. After looking forward to it for months and months, I clearly expected an ending to the previous 3 books to be on par, if not better. However, it was utter rubbish, her writing style went out the window, she introduced weird aspects that I didn't think was appropriate which just changed the whole concept of the story, and her humour was so... hmm. I didn't find her jokes funny at all, it all sounded very teen/adolescent and very un-witty. It was just a major letdown, since Eclipse was major excellent. Oh well, at least there's the Twilight movie coming up. Can't wait for THAT. :D

Goodbye to John, who's leaving to US tomorrow. Good luck with your Masters, and I hope you finally manage to get into ur PHD programme.

I will post soon! With pictures all stored in my digicam waiting to be uploaded :P


. . . .

Somehow, in all my anguish, I've sort of lost myself.
But I know that I'll find myself again, in You.

If you do miss being with me, then tell me why, why, why we shouldn't be together.
If you do miss being with me, then tell me why, why, why we can't be together.
There is no why. There is no answer.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

Looks like I should change my audience. Crying out to a boy, and to something omnipotent.
Which of You shall be moved?

how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see You
everything will be alright
if I'd see You
the storminess will turn to light

I know You didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

and I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into Your eyes
and everything will be alright

In my anguish, sometimes I forget who I'm calling out to.
But at the end of the day, it's the same.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

You thought we'd be fine all these months gone by? No lies, we're losing time. Because this is a battle, and it's your final last call. Why'd you have to let it go? It was a trial, you made a mistake, we know. Can't you see you've hurt me so? Why aren't you sorry, why aren't you sorry, why? This could be better, you could be happy, try. I just hope it was worth the fight.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I didn't mean to fall in love with you I did.
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me .
when will it set me free?
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.

no more riddles, no more pathetic excuses.
no more pretense.

...so much pain.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I'm back in KL again, trip was okay, my dad was speeding at like 170 and there was this Myvi behind the whole time! Whew, never knew the Myvi was so powerful hahaha.. no wonder Keat Boon's family has so many Myvis!!

My parents came for the weekend though, and we were brought to this cool ranch! Yea, a ranch! In Singapore! Its called the Bukit Timah Saddle Club, and we had dinner at this place inside called Rider's Cafe that's reputable for their burgers.
Some previews of my sister's awesome macro-photography skillxxxsszzzz!!!




Overall, portions were too small, especially the salads, a teeny bit expensive for such small portions. My cousin had a pasta, and it was obviously not enough for him so he ordered another burger :P See how ravenous he is!

The night we came back, we went to Jerry's wedding at Conrad International Hotel. Pictures!!


This is the band, EIC. Cos Jerry is like the marketing manager of VideoEzy and somehow he worked with them before, they agreed to play his wedding!! They were alright I guess... haha.

So I'm wondering how I'm going to spend my last 2 weeks or so in KL, cos after this I doubt I'll be returning often. Uni life is going to get hectic, and most people that I want to stay here for are gone anyway. So, to be completely honest, I'm not that sad about leaving. Although some part of me is going to miss home, since ultimately this is home, but I think I'll be okay.

After all, I'm still in love with you.
It no longer feels like everything is caving in.
Rather like a dull ache in my heart that's always there.
But I'll be okay. I have to be.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Jia Wei said the first time he saw me, I looked tired.
And haggard.
That was after a night of crying.
Think of it as vanity, whatever you wish, but that's when I swore.
No more crying.
I don't want to be like that anymore.
It's time to bury it all.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

I'm back in Singapore. Yes, again. This time, it was for NUS BizAd Freshman Orientation Camp, or FOC for short.

Hmm.. a lil bout what happened before camp started. On one of my last days, John n I baked cookiess!!!! Yum yum. Our favourite Chocolate Chip. I bet if he had his way he'd wipe out all the cookie dough. I only had a few cookies though, cos I left them at his place and he finished them all!! We also bought pesto n bread, but I didn't have any either!!! Partly because I wasn't hungry. We're almost through with the Office Season 3 already. Hurrry hurry season 4!!!! I swear, it just gets better and better.


When I first went to Singapore, we went to this really nice restaurant called The Turquoise Room. Very expensive too.. but it was for my Ah Yee's birthday. :)
Saturday was Yong Jun's birthday! And it was a great excuse to call out some of our Lit buddies, so off we went to town! Went to MNG to shop again, I spent like 200 sing total there in two days. Congrats to Val who abstained! It was Manda Lui, Val, Rena, Yj and I at this Ramen place in Takashimaya.

After that, I rushed off to meet Eric who was in Singapore, and his cousin Mark, Mark's sister Marie and Marie's boyfriend. First experience at KTV PartyWorld. It was.. interesting. All of them were so funny, so shameless. I sang a couple of songs then had to rush home for dinner. hahaha... Their karaoke system is actually pretty high tech, u can order drinks etc from the machine. Eric n I agreed that the lights are totally tacky though... and the whole "green and gold" theme was just. Ugh.

I realized I haven't blogged bout camp. Oh gosh, it was such a physically demanding camp that at the end of it, I was in so much pain that I couldn't feel pain anymore. Hahaha... so so unfit. I can't really describe the entire experience, so just go to my facebook and look at the photos. All in all, I am en love with most of my OG mates, and we had dinner again on Fri night at Fish&Co, and we're going for dinner again later this week.

Soo all the photos from the three outings here!

No guesses what this means.

Cheryl, AJ, Kok, and I having a lil karaoke session hahaha.

My darling dorissss.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

This was the front cover of my Trinity Guildhall ATCL Diploma Programme Notes.
The examiner kept it, he must have liked it alot haha. Another thing to hopefully scratch off my list, to get my diploma. I've been playing since I was 4, and I guess it just seems natural that I should take it further. I know it was a big risk, doing something in less than 6 months what most people do in 2 years. But it was an achievement, because I stuck to it and managed it in the end anyway. I just hope I pass, if not I'd make my parents really angry for all the fees wasted :P

It doesn't feel like 6 months. Time flies.
On the other hand, it doesn't feel like 2 months. It feels like much, much longer. I guess with you, there's a different dimension of time.
I hope we're meant to be.

Labels: http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=21239124

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Happy Birthday Mommy!!! The most beautiful *pluek* woman in my world!
You sooo don't look your age so be happy! :)


Since it's her birthday today I accompanied her to cell group at Uncle Dominic's. Aunty Shirley baked a cake for her, and decorated it as well. It was just butter cake, but it was the richest, most flavourful butter cake I've ever had, and the sweetest most interesting icing ever. She even put edible glitter on the cake!!

And I have something very eerie for you! My brother was just playing with the camera, and then he took this.

If you look carefully at the shadow I cast, there's a rather noticeable teddy bear face on my pillow. There actually isn't a teddy bear, but cos there's a flower pattern on my pillow and so happens the way the shadow the right place, and the flower became its eyes, snout, nose and mouth! Creeeeppyyyy, and yeah i know my pants are loose. That's what happens when you're in the hospital for a week without eating any proper food. But don't look at me! Look at the teddy bear!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Piano class is taking its toll on my upper body. Arms, neck and shoulders. 4 hours a day. Ugh, I'm kinda glad it's going to be over soon. Anyway, my exam is at One World hotel whee. Went to Williams with my two favourite boys. Kinda snuck out, like John says,
I'M A NINJA! Hehe, is he cute or what.

So yesterday was fun, went for dinner at this place called Mama's Kitchen. Apparently lots of church people go there to eat dinner after service on Saturday, haha. They had yum marmite pork ribs. I've been eating loads of pork lately, I wonder why. Today I had bah ku teh for lunch nearby my house. Anyway, after dinner Uncle Tan and I went to meet Joy n Cheemun at TTDI Plaza. I had no idea that place existed!!! I always thought it was just the Naza show room and that's it haha. But here's two lost people looking for a place to sit and wait for the other two, but all of them are bars and there was these signs saying "No slippers, no shorts, no bags" and I was like wearing slippers and shorts and I had a really big baggg... so fail. But I don't get why we cant bring in bags though. So silly.

In the end, we decided on this nice place called Frames. I love the feeling of being there, the decor is simple and although the drinks weren't that great, I want to go back to try their food. Here's why the place is called Frames!

God.
Enough.
Please.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Today will be about everybody's favourite topic, FOOD! No, just kidding, going to discuss Sunday's sermon of course! Okay fine, it's a bit of both.

Yesterday, Ps. Edmund Chan from Covenant Evangelical Free Church Singapore spoke at SIBKL. He was aweesooommmeeee. Completely flawless and I'm definitely going to that church when I go back to Singapore. The title of the sermon was "How To Get Through A Bad Day", which seems really general and could apply to anyone or anything, but oh boy. About 10 salvations at the altar call, and nearly like half the church responded both Saturday and Sunday.

Basically he has 5 rules to follow, and we just have to keep reminding ourselves of them, and things shall be put into the right perspective. I'm so getting the tape and listening to it again.

After church, John came to pick me up (lazy bum couldn't wake up in time to go to church) and we went to Damas for our Raku-Zen. It's the only place worth eating at, honestly. We both got the reasonable set lunches, for bout only 18. However, we added some salmon pressed sushi so the total bill was bout 30 each. However, I was disappointed with the pressed sushi cos I think it wasn't fresh and they squirted lemon or something on it, so it was a bit weird.

Anyway, going there makes me happy! Although there's nothing much else to do at Damas, but we go there anyway cos there's easy, cheap parking and food.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

I think I'm going to die waiting for this to come out. Still about a month to go... But I'm more looking forward to the Twilight movie which comes out in freaking December. I feel like I'm using "freaking" too much. Am I using freaking too much? For lack of a better adjective... please list me some.

Anyway, went for Saturday service. It was strange. But after that went for dinner with the Ngs again. I sweaaaar, Chris, the above pictures are solid proof that Shannie is the worst 4 year old camwhore in the whole world. although she really is cute, though. And cos she's too small to handle the cam, I have to cos she bugs me every so often to take a picture of us together. And another one. And another one. And another one. And... so presenting, the many faces of Shannie Ng!
We had dinner at Delicious, One U. They're super consistent, I love their food. The manager was really nice and gave Shannie crayons, so yeah, retarded me was helping her draw butterflies on our placemats.
Whee. That's all the updates for now.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

amanda ng tse - in
nineteen going on twenty
bum
previously in malaysia
now singapore
sekolah sri cempaka '93-'00
wesley methodist school '01-'05
jurong junior college '07-'08
national university of singapore BizAd
sibKL
Queenstown Baptist
LOmantic no. 1!
Itsy-Bitsy

Things I wanna do before I die:
learn sign language
take part in a huge scale musical production
teach and inspire
get married
get my Diploma in piano
meet God (oh wait, that happens only after I die :P)
act in a play
lead worship in church
win an award for talent
graduate from University
build a home in the suburbs
get a dog
get another dog
visit the Maldives
...tobecontinued...
favourites:

my family back in KL and in Sg
my LU girls
my cousin sister
my doggy max! always.
Goody-Six-Shoes
the LOmantics!:wenlin+mich+chris
salmon
tiramisu
creme brulee
english breakfast
shopping
volleyball
basketball
the pool & the beach
ice-skating/blading
music
The Sims 2
cheer
keys, vocals, dance
pure white
prints
pretty bows
OPI Lacquer
patent pumps
photographs
novels
musicals
one tree hill
the office
christina aguilera
n last but not least, God.
...

plugs.
|andymay*ohnjay | John <3| Joy <3| Denise <3| Crystal <3| Qirby <3| WenDi | Shermaine | Shannon <3| Sharon <3| PeiLing <3| Christie <3| Alia <3| Eric <3 | Oliver <3| FoongMei | VenXhin <3| SzeKeat | Gavin | VoonChee | Chris | Melissa <3| Christina <3| Siti <3| Tommy | Mei Qin | Natasha Amanda <3| Valerie <3 | Farhana <3 | Yong Jun <3 | Hafizah <3 | Desiree | Michelle <3| Wen Lin <3| Rafidah <3| Rachel <3| Shammie | Siew Kwan | Sam <3| Debz <3| NarrowStreet | Wan Yen <3| Love UnAshamed <3| Since 1991 <3| Sharmane | Machamps | Pui Mun | The Twelve | SIB KL |


credits.
blogskins greene_sprit host
Credit goes to Joy *mandapandabanana*

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